deedle03

I am spending time with my hubby and enjoying every minute of it

 don't think I could live without your love
Whatever I give you, I can't give you enough
Memories of you, girl, day after day
make our love go stronger when you're so far away

Like a midnight rider on an endless road
I'm a sole survivor carrying a heavy load
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to feel the pain
I don't want to live without you
Nothin's gonna change it
Never wanna live without you
Don't think I could stand the pain
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to change it

Now I know you've been waitin' for so long
I've been lost for words so I'll give you this song
Livin' on a memory and a picture of you
makes my heart skip a beat
It's the best I can do

Just a midnight rider on an endless road
I'm a sole survivor carrying a heavy load
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to feel the pain
I don't want to live without you
Nothin's gonna change it
Never wanna live without you
Don't think I could stand the pain
I don't want to live without you
I don't want to change it

It's just me and you and not a damn thing anyone else can do
Baby, baby, our love is true
Oh, don't you change me

Like a midnight rider on an endless road
I'm a sole survivor carrying a heavy load
Baby, I don't want to live without you.
I don't want to feel the pain
I don't want to live without you
Nothin's gonna change it

I don't want to live without you
I don't want to feel the pain
I don't want to live without you
Nothin's gonna change it
Never wanna live without you
Don't think I could stand the pain
I don't want to live without you
Nothin's gonna change it

I don't think I could live without your love
Whatever I give you, I can't give you enough
Livin' on memories and pictures of you
makes my heart skip a beat
It's the best I can do.

 

True Love

by Chris

When I first met you I felt something was different I knew you felt it too But I didn?t know how to handle it It was something my heart, never knew So I couldn?t accept it As time went by I went along with it, but at the same time I felt like I could fly It was such a mystery to me But I didn?t care I knew eventually that I would see Now for the first time ever You had opened my heart Something no one else could do, and I mean never It was such a wonderful start To a path I never wanted to part Wow, I thought, I want this forever We were two wholes combined The last link in a chained circle To a complete happiness together It seemed as though our souls had rhymed It was simply the best I couldn?t have imagined anything better Although there were times when we would fight It would always work out for the better Because we were just so tight Nothing could stop us, not distance or time It was as though we were invincible And I wanted your heart to always be mine Our love was too true for each other Even if we would split up The love would always remain forever I know they say what?s meant to be, will be But in my heart, I know you are the only one for me You are my soul mate, my friend, and my lover I love you, and I always will.

My husband is my soulmate
I knew that the first time we kissed on his steps which was a dare from Michelle
Thanks Michelle

Alot of things happen in ppls lives, we have our ups and our downs. My sister has MS and now she has a tumor on her uterus. We are waiting for her biopsy results to come back to make sure not cancer. It still worries me. My sister and I were close when we were younger and as we got older we grew apart then we got close again. I love my sister! pls God let her be ok

Man this sucks. I really want to go out and put my resume' in places but as I get closer to a place I cant stop I just keep going. so Ill drive to another place and that same sick feeling in my gut comes back and I just drive by. Mike and I have been talking about me getting a job and I am ready but just cant stop and go in a place. I was suppose to go and put in some this morning but I feel sick when I go, I cant bring myself to stop the car. When I go shopping I freak out anymore. I get so upset that I forget everything....today I did good. I was actually able to get most of what I need, I still forgot some. it really sucks. I hate these feelings I get. Mike isnt going to understand this, So how and am I suppose to tell him and how, Maybe I need to get stoned and go. Doubt that will work.....I guess it is time to go back on the meds but I hate the side effects.

I went and seen a friend today, Im not going to say I feel sorry for her because that is something she doesnt want. She had a baby 5 months ago and then her marriage fell apart. She is trying so hard to get her life back together but she is having a hard time with it, luckly her mom is so wonderfull that she has stepped in and is helping her mentally and everything. Her family is helping her alot more then what I have ever seen a family help......she is truly blessed and I hope she knows that. It just makes me think where would I be today if I wouldnt have the wonderfull ppl in my life.....Not many ppl know this but when I was 15yrs old I was going to kill myself I had the knife out and I was ready but I had a wonderfull best friend back then and he talked me out of it...to this day I am thankfull for Mark Gibbs, cause without him I wouldnt be here today and I wouldnt have the worlds greatest hubby and wonderfull kids. Life is hard at times but taking the easy way out isnt the best. face it with your feet on the ground and brace urself causee it does get bumpy but you also have wonderfull moments in between the bumps

This is the year that I am going to figure out if my friends are really my friends. I am having trouble on some. I rarely talk to some. Then some just act like it is a chore to talk. If they arent my friend then they need to back off and leave me alone so I wont be hurt later. It bothers me...I dont want to be used or felt sorry for. I dont feel sorry for myself, I want to wed out the bad and weave in the good. No sense in having bullshit in my life when it comes to friends.

I miss my hubby!!! I cant believe that it is 2009 already! The kids are growing so fast and boy how time flew! In August Kylie starts Kindergarden. Boy I cant believe it. so strange.

blah blah blah..........It is so boring right now. Well I am happy today we found my sister in law a place of her own and the best part is I get my house back to me and my little family. Yeah I will miss having her here to talk to at times but I wont miss her mood swings or yelling...I am ready for the new year. Hopefully 2009 will be better then 2008. new year. 

I sit and think about alot of things that are happening in my life and I get depressed, All of my life I have only let just few people in, I guess that has to do with me being scared of getting hurt and usually it happens so I keep my distance and try not to make friends. The friends I do have I try to keep close but they also end up hurting me and I just dont say anything, My husband is my best friend my soulmate hes everything. He tries so hard to make me happy and he does. when it comes to other people that is where it is hard. I have trust issuses with friends. No matter who they are, I still have a hard time believing or trusting them, I dont know why I feel this way. I get friends and I space myself from them. this sucks

Have you ever been around someone who just annoys the crap out of you? Have you ever been around someone who just dont keep their mouth shut? Have you ever been around someone who just can't keep their opionions to themselves no matter how bad they are? Doesnt that just make you want to slap the crap out of them and tell them to sit down and shut up!?? Share with me some experiances you have hd with these kind of ppl

I am so bored anymore! There is nothing to do...In 3 days Michael comes home Yay...

As I was growing up my dad would abue my mother! He would be drunk or sober it didn't matter. He would give my mom black eyes, bruised ribs, choke her, and mentally abuse her. As I was growing up I feared him. When he would raise his voice I ran and hid in the closest. My sister isn't his child so when ever they would argue he would kick my sister out. I hated him for the longest time. As I got older my mom would stand up to hima dn so did my sister...he mellowed out alittle bit. I had my time to stand up to him...he was on something and he pulled a knife on my mom...I stepped in bweetn and I looked him dead in the eyes and I told him that I wasn't a little kid anymore and that I wasn't going to stand by and watch him do this..that if he was going to use that then he was going through me first. When I met Michael things were hard at first because I was afraid he would do me like my father did my mom. My husband is awesome...My sister's husband cheated on her...my brother and his wife had problems...I have wanted him to hitme and no matter how hard I have tried to get him to hit me he has never. I knew a lady who was murdered by her husband..he abused her everyday and she stayed...She had 3 boys and they had to grow up with out a mother because of that man she loved. One son has been in and out of prison since she has been gone, one raped someone and the other one is trying to live his life


Do you know the signs of abuse???


Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships
If you think your husband or boyfriend is abusive, or you suspect that someone you know is in an abusive relationship, review the red flags of domestic violence and abuse listed in this article. Recognizing the warning signs and symptoms of spousal abuse is the first step to breaking free.

If you’re afraid for your immediate safety, call 911. For help and advice on escaping an abusive relationship, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224.
In This Article:
Domestic violence or abuse
Cycle of violence
Signs of an abusive relationship
Types of domestic violence and abuse
Domestic violence warning signs
Related links
EmailPrintDomestic violence and abuse
Special note:
Although men also suffer from domestic abuse and violence, women are five to eight times more likely than men to be victimized by an intimate partner. Because men are more often the abusers, abusers are referred to as "he" in this article.
Domestic abuse, also known as spousal abuse, occurs when one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. An abuser doesn’t “play fair.” He uses fear, guilt, shame, and intimidation to wear you down and gain complete power over you. He may threaten you, hurt you, or hurt those around you. Domestic abuse that includes physical violence is called domestic violence.

Victims of domestic abuse or domestic violence may be men or women, although women are more commonly victimized. This abuse happens among heterosexual couples and in same-sex partnerships. Except for the gender difference, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate. It happens within all age ranges, ethnic backgrounds, and financial levels. The abuse may occur during a relationship, while the couple is breaking up, or after the relationship has ended.

Despite what many people believe, domestic violence is not due to the abuser’s loss of control over his behavior. In fact, violence is a deliberate choice made by the abuser in order to take control over his wife or partner.

Violent Behavior is an Abuser's Choice
Reasons we know an abuser's behaviors are not about anger and rage:

He does not batter other individuals - the boss who does not give him time off or the gas station attendant that spills gas down the side of his car. He waits until there are no witnesses and abuses the person he says he loves.
If you ask an abused woman, "can he stop when the phone rings or the police come to the door?" She will say "yes". Most often when the police show up, he is looking calm, cool and collected and she is the one who may look hysterical. If he were truly "out of control" he would not be able to stop himself when it is to his advantage to do so.
The abuser very often escalates from pushing and shoving to hitting in places where the bruises and marks will not show. If he were "out of control" or "in a rage" he would not be able to direct or limit where his kicks or punches land.
Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over their wives or partners:

Dominance — Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Humiliation — An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation — In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN
Threats — Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation — Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame — Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.
Cycle of violence
Domestic abuse falls into a common pattern, or cycle of violence:

Abuse — The abuser lashes out with aggressive or violent behavior. The abuse is a power play designed to show the victim "who is boss."
Guilt — After the abusive episode, the abuser feels guilt, but not over what he's done to the victim. The guilt is over the possibility of being caught and facing consequences.
Rationalization or excuses — The abuser rationalizes what he's done. He may come up with a string of excuses or blame the victim for his own abusive behavior—anything to shift responsibility from himself.
"Normal" behavior — The abuser does everything he can to regain control and keep the victim in the relationship. He may act as if nothing has happened, or he may turn on the charm. This peaceful honeymoon phase may give the victim hope that the abuser has really changed this time.
Fantasy and planning — The abuser begins to fantasize about abusing his victim again, spending a lot of time thinking about what she's done wrong and how he'll make her pay. Then he makes a plan for turning the fantasy of abuse into reality.
Set-up — The abuser sets up the victim and puts his plan in motion, creating a situation where he can justify abusing her.
The Full Cycle of Domestic Violence
A man abuses his partner. After he hits her, he experiences self-directed guilt. He says, "I'm sorry for hurting you." What he does not say is, "Because I might get caught." He then rationalizes his behavior by saying that his partner is having an affair with someone. He tells her "If you weren't such a worthless whore I wouldn't have to hit you." He then acts contrite, reassuring her that he will not hurt her again. He then fantasizes and reflects on past abuse and how he will hurt her again. He plans on telling her to go to the store to get some groceries. What he withholds from her is that she has a certain amount of time to do the shopping. When she is held up in traffic and is a few minutes late, he feels completely justified in assaulting her because "you're having an affair with the store clerk." He has just set her up.

Source: Mid-Valley Women's Crisis Service

Your abuser’s apologies and loving gestures in between the episodes of abuse can make it difficult to leave. He may make you believe that you are the only person who can help him, that things will be different this time, and that he truly loves you. However, the dangers of staying are real.

Domestic abuse often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to physical violence and even murder. And while physical injury may be the most obvious danger, the emotional and psychological consequences of domestic abuse are also severe. No one deserves this kind of pain—and your first step to breaking free is recognizing that your situation is abusive. Once you acknowledge the reality of the abusive situation, then you can get the help you need.

Signs of an abusive relationship
There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most significant sign is fear of your partner. Other signs include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions in the table below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP
Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior
Do you:

feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:

humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Behavior or Threats Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior
Does your partner:

have a bad and unpredictable temper?
hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
threaten to take your children away or harm them?
threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
force you to have sex?
destroy your belongings?
Does your partner:

act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
constantly check up on you?


Types of domestic violence and abuse
There are different types of domestic abuse, including emotional, physical, sexual, and economic abuse. Many abusers behave in ways that include more than one type of domestic abuse, and the boundaries between some of these behaviors may overlap.

Emotional or psychological abuse
Emotional or psychological abuse can be verbal or nonverbal. Its aim is to chip away at your feelings of self-worth and independence. If you’re the victim of emotional abuse, you may feel that there is no way out of the relationship, or that without your abusive partner you have nothing. Emotional abuse includes verbal abuse such as yelling, name-calling, blaming, and shaming. Isolation, intimidation, and controlling behavior also fall under emotional abuse. Additionally, abusers who use emotional or psychological abuse often throw in threats of physical violence.

You may think that physical abuse is far worse than emotional abuse, since physical violence can send you to the hospital and leave you with scars. But, the scars of emotional abuse are very real, and they run deep. In fact, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse—sometimes even more so. Furthermore, emotional abuse usually worsens over time, often escalating to physical battery.

Physical abuse
When people talk about domestic violence, they are often referring to the physical abuse of a spouse or intimate partner. Physical abuse is the use of physical force against someone in a way that injures or endangers that person. There’s a broad range of behaviors that come under the heading of physical abuse, including hitting, grabbing, choking, throwing things, and assault with a weapon.

Physical assault or battering is a crime, whether it occurs inside or outside of the family. The police have the power and authority to protect you from physical attack.

Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is common in abusive relationships. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, between one-third and one-half of all battered women are raped by their partners at least once during their relationship. Any situation in which you are forced to participate in unwanted, unsafe, or degrading sexual activity is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even by a spouse or intimate partner with whom you also have consensual sex, is an act of aggression and violence. Furthermore, women whose partners abuse them physically and sexually are at a higher risk of being seriously injured or killed.

Economic or financial abuse
Remember, an abuser’s goal is to control you, and he will frequently hurt you to do that. In addition to hurting you emotionally and physically, an abusive partner may also hurt you in the pocketbook. Economic of financial abuse includes:

Controlling the finances.
Withholding money or credit cards.
Giving you an allowance.
Making you account for every penny you spend.
Stealing from you or taking your money.
Exploiting your assets for personal gain.
Withholding basic necessities (food, clothes, medications, shelter).
Preventing you from working or choosing your own career.
Sabotaging your job (making you miss work, calling constantly)
Domestic violence warning signs
Take Precautions
Call 911 or the police in your community if you suspect a case of domestic violence.
It's impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some telltale signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse. If you witness a number of warning signs in a friend, family member, or co-worker, you can reasonably suspect domestic abuse.

Frequent injuries, with the excuse of “accidents”
Frequent and sudden absences from work or school
Frequent, harassing phone calls from the partner
Fear of the partner, references to the partner's anger
Personality changes (e.g. an outgoing woman becomes withdrawn)
Excessive fear of conflict
Submissive behavior, lack of assertiveness
Isolation from friends and family
Insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car) Domestic Violence and Abuse: Help, Treatment, Intervention, and Prevention
Depression, crying, low self-esteem
Reporting suspected domestic abuse is important. If you're afraid of getting involved, remember that the report is confidential and everything possible will be done to protect your privacy. You don’t have to give your name, and your suspicions will be investigated before anyone is taken into custody. Most important, you can protect the victim from further harm by calling for help.

Part 2: Help, Treatment, Intervention, and Prevention covers protecting yourself from domestic violence and leaving an abusive relationship safely, including restraining orders, shelters, staying safe after you’ve left, and dealing with the trauma of domestic abuse.

Read this Article


Related links for domestic abuse and violence
Domestic violence hotlines and help
National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) – A crisis intervention and referral phone line for domestic violence. (Texas Council on Family Violence)

State Coalition List – Directory of state offices that can help you find local support, shelter, and free or low-cost legal services. Includes all U.S. states, as well as the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, and the Virgin Islands. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

Abusive relationships and domestic violence
Domestic Violence Awareness Handbook – Guide to domestic violence covers common myths, what to say to a victim, and what communities can do about the problem. (U.S. Department of Agriculture)

Domestic Violence: The Cycle of Violence – Learn about the cycle of violence common to abusive relationships. (Mid-Valley Women’s Crisis Service)

Equality Wheel (PDF) – A “wheel” that gives guidelines for a healthy, nonviolent intimate relationship between a man and a woman. (Domestic Abuse Intervention Project)

Warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse
The Problem – Offers a checklist of behaviors and feelings that will help you assess whether you are in an abusive relationship. (National Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

Domestic Violence Warning Signs – Describes common warning signs that a woman is being emotionally abused or beaten. (Safe Place, Michigan State University)

Workplace Domestic Violence– Information for recognizing, preventing, and responding to domestic violence in the workplace. (National Work~Life Alliance)

For men
Intimate Partner Abuse Against Men – Learn about domestic violence against men, including homosexual partner abuse, sexual abuse of boys and male teenagers, and abuse by wives or partners. (National Clearinghouse on Family Violence, Canada)

For gay men and women
Abuse in Same-Sex Relationships – Describes myths about same-sex abuse; unique problems of the victims of same-sex abuse; and what society and professionals can do to help. (Education Wife Assault)

For immigrant women
Information for Immigrants – Domestic violence resources for immigrant women. En Español:Información para Inmigrantes. (Women’s Law Initiative)

For teens
Dating Violence – Guide to teen dating violence, including early warning signs that your boyfriend or girlfriend may become abusive. (The Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence)

Teens: Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt (PDF) – A teen-friendly guide to what abuse looks like in dating relationships and how to do something about it. (American Psychological Association)

Delving deeper into domestic violence and abuse
Violence Against Women – Domestic violence resource provided by the federal. Includes a list of state resources and a fact sheet on identifying abuse. (The National Women’s Health Information Center)

Minnesota Center Against Violence and Abuse – Electronic clearinghouse of information about domestic violence and abuse, including a searchable online library of articles.

Pat Davies, Melinda Smith, M.A., Tina de Benedictis, Ph.D., Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., contributed to this article. Last modified on: 8/20/07.

I don't post on here like I should. My friend she is always posting and I get bored with things really fast so I don't post. SORRY!!!! I recently moved to Springfield Mo. I like it here I haven't been out much but I love my house and my landlord is awesome..I miss my fam and my friend. yes I said friend.. I don't have many friends. I have lost the touch on how to make them I guess cause I haven't made any down here. I haven't really tried either...The other reason I guess I am afraid to...alot of ppl that my husband and i were friends with the wife always cheated on the husband or the husband was just so lazy that his wife would hate him for it...I am faithfull to my husband and I haven't lied to him about anything and if we have friends I want someone to were we can be comfortable around. My best friend is married and they are great ppl to be around but we moved away so it is kinda hard to do anything with them...of course she will tell me that it is my fault..lol.
My daughter is going to be 4yrs old Saturday....OMG I can't believe it..It took so long to get her then when I do it takes no time for her to grow up..We have a 14 yr old who is my husbands brother, I love him to death but man teenagers are testy and mouthy. Is it just me or do they seem to forget alot. They eat you out of house and home...lol but they are loveable too.
I am bored and just rambling so I will go for now...also I don't do correct puncuation,grammer or spelling so good luck...lol